Personal finance blog that makes you save or earn a little at the time. Simple frugal living.
A nice way to identify goals, especially for the New Year, is to clarify how you’d like to upgrade your relationships with different aspects of life. Then identify and commit to action-based goals that you expect would improve these relationships. For example, you have a relationship with: money your body each key person in your…
What do you care about? Go ahead and rattle off your initial list – the people you know, doing a good job at work, making a positive difference in the world, etc. Then dig deeper. What are your high-risk cares? What do you care about internally but never share because you might be judged for…
In psychology there are three general ways to relate to other people, depending on how you interpret and manage emotional risk. You can avoid deep emotional investments in people (avoidant attachment). You can try to control other people (anxious attachment). You can intelligently bond with people and invest in secure relationships (secure attachment). You can…
You may have heard about the difference between a growth mindset and a fixed mindset and how important a growth mindset is for self-development. You may not have considered how important a growth heartset is too. While a growth mindset is wonderful, it’s not enough. There are plenty of people with growth mindsets who struggle,…
How would you rate your current relationship with texting on a scale of 1 to 10? A 1 means you really need to improve how you use this tool. A 10 means you’re using the tool in a way that works very well for you, and other people who text you understand and respect your…
I had a great realization when going through Dr. Julie Helmrich’s Science of Conflict course recently. One idea from that course helped me make sense of an issue that had been popping up now and then in my relationships. She noted that a key reason that people become defensive during conflict is that their inner…
A recent gift from a friend included a question card deck, and one of the questions was: What is one of the most valuable lessons you have learned in the past year? I’d say my biggest lesson of this year was to more deeply understand the relationship between intelligent boundary management and investing in deep…
In your favorite models of reality, do you include a god or gods? Have you tested models and frames that are god-free to see how well they work for you? I grew up learning models of reality that include a god, in that case a Christian version of one. Later I went atheist, and I…
Suppose you’re sitting in a Toastmasters meeting where members are practicing their speaking skills. Suppose there are about 20 members in the room, which would be pretty typical for a Toastmasters club. Now suppose you hear a fellow member give a speech that you find objectionable, and it bothers you to hear such words spoken…
During Navy SEALs training, which is really tough, recruits can quit by ringing a bell three times. Then they get a shower and a hot meal, and they’re done with the struggle. No more physical ordeals. No more being wet and sandy. No more sleep deprivation. And no more opportunity to be part of a…
