100 Days of Sex: Day 108
Here’s an update on our ongoing 100 days of sex experiment, which is now up to 108 days and still going. At this point I’ve figured out that if Rachelle and I spend time in the same room together during the course of a day, it’s going to be a sex day.
Sex has become such a breezy experience for us now that it feels like we’ve made a long-term change to this aspect of our lives. It’s hard to imagine returning to our pre-experiment reality. It feels like we’ve left that old reality pretty far behind.
I can feel the difference in my body. Just being close to her now makes my cells buzz with electricity in anticipation. We don’t really have to try to make anything happen deliberately. Our bodies, minds, feelings, and energy will just naturally flow in that direction at least once a day. It would take more effort to prevent ourselves from going there.
I remember that’s how I’d feel during the early years of our long-distance relationship when we’d reconnect after being apart for 2-3 months. Now that feeling of intense attraction is our daily reality. It’s like this experiment invited and encouraged our bodies to love each other even more, so the feelings of love and intimacy are more embodied now. They’re not just in the mind and heart – it’s like these feelings are in the cells too now. So the physical chemistry that was already good is now way higher. This benefit has been a pleasant surprise.
By doing this for so many days in a row, we’ve chipped away at any forms of friction or deflection. Whatever reasons we might have previously had for skipping a day have been replaced by patterns of engagement. All the nos and maybes have been replaced by yeses. The yeses are pretty powerful now and easily breeze past any previous deflection points. It’s like we’ve recoded our minds to keep reminding us of the good reasons for saying yes to sex and giving us a more awareness of the long-term benefits.
I don’t feel this mental recoding is unique to sex. Imagine a writer writing for 100+ days in a row and also committing to making the writing experience smoother each time. Pretty much any form of resistance or procrastination will surface during that time, and the writer will have a chance to meet and resolve each instance. After 100+ days, you might figure that just about all resistance would have been addressed. At that point it may be harder not to write, especially if the writing is enjoyable or rewarding.
We’ve also created a greater variety of pathways into sex. So if we just go through our normal days together, they include multiple easy transition points that our bodies now predict could lead to sex. This is becoming a bit silly for us actually. Now if we just cuddle each other, our bodies can start getting riled up sexually, and pretty soon we’re kissing and more.
This is a pretty interesting place to be in our relationship. It’s different, yet we aren’t finding anything problematic about it. It makes us feel super close and connected with each other, and I feel it’s up-leveled our kindness and communication as well. It’s been a major deep dive into increased intimacy together. We’ve both been immensely loving towards each other all throughout this shared adventure. Having sex feels like an expression of kindness and caring for each other. We’re both generously going way beyond meeting each other’s needs here.
We keep checking in with each other to ask ourselves if it’s too much. And we keep concluding that it’s definitely not too much. It’s actually very nice to connect like this every day.
This is a puzzling experience to integrate. I’ve never done anything like this before, and I feel that I’ve crossed in a different kind of reality somewhere along the way. It feels like it’s still evolving and shifting too, although not as much as during the first three months.
It feels like my reality has been wrapped in a blanket of love, and now the blanket is there to stay. It feels easy to maintain, and I don’t see any reason to remove the blanket. It’s a really nice blanket, and I appreciate its presence.
One impact this is having is that it’s making me question where else in my life I might explore something similar. Like what other area of life is already good, and I could wrap that area in an extra blanket of love as well? I feel I’ve already chipped away at some of this in my relationship with my home, especially by resolving some areas of friction with it and figuring out how to enjoy maintenance and upgrade projects. I’m also advancing with a more yin, relaxed, casual style of blogging, which will soon open up into making more videos. Another interesting candidate would be my relationship with money, which has been healthy and supportive for 26 years now. I might even do something more expansive and weave multiple areas together since it’s all vibrational work at the core anyway. Even better would be to take this to a social level and engage with people who want to explore similar upgrades in their lives.
I feel that this sex experiment has been a gateway into a different vibrational reality. My inner senses have been buzzing with a lot of energy lately. I really can’t see this energy that we’ve stirred up remaining solely within our relationship. It’s a lot of energy, and I feel that it’s still increasing. Channeling it into physical sex is very yummy, yet I feel there’s more than enough to flow into other directions too, like writing, videos, social connections, and more. I have this sense that I’m entering a phase of opening in all directions at once. Actually I’d say that I’m well into it now. That feels really good to me at this time. I feel very ready and very energetically resourced for this.
One reflection that came through in the past few days was that I gained an even stronger appreciation for the role that exploration plays in my life and work. This sex experiment was one of many explorations I’ve done where the purpose was discovery, not to obtain some specific result. My intentions were rooted in curiosity and wonder… also to explore connection, love, and intimacy.
Exploring has paid off so very well for me in so many areas of life. The more I explore, the better my life becomes. Exploration is the key that unlocks so many doors, especially when I explore in directions where part of me is hesitant to commit myself. Many explorations have led to permanent changes that I’ve integrated very well into my life. I sense that if I really want to wrap more areas of life in an even bigger blanket of love, I’ll want to open myself to even more exploring. And the real key to exploring, at least for me, has been to make specific exploration-based commitments, such as a 30-day challenge (or in this case a 100-day challenge).
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