Amplify Inspiration

On a group call for the Amplify course last week, we did a two-part co-creative exercise. The first part involved connecting with our sorrow, and the second part was to see the invitation in that sorrow to discover a new place of joy. Then members co-created intentions for the world with the purpose of sharing…

Relational Goals

A nice way to identify goals, especially for the New Year, is to clarify how you’d like to upgrade your relationships with different aspects of life. Then identify and commit to action-based goals that you expect would improve these relationships. For example, you have a relationship with: money your body each key person in your…

Why Socialize at All?

How do you get motivated to reach out and connect with people? What gets you to overcome inertia? What makes you want to risk rejection? Is it worth it to keep sifting through so many mismatches and partial matches? What makes you exert the effort to engage with people socially? What’s your why? I brainstormed…

Hard Cares

What do you care about? Go ahead and rattle off your initial list – the people you know, doing a good job at work, making a positive difference in the world, etc. Then dig deeper. What are your high-risk cares? What do you care about internally but never share because you might be judged for…

Secure Attachment and Investment

In psychology there are three general ways to relate to other people, depending on how you interpret and manage emotional risk. You can avoid deep emotional investments in people (avoidant attachment). You can try to control other people (anxious attachment). You can intelligently bond with people and invest in secure relationships (secure attachment). You can…

A Growth Heartset

You may have heard about the difference between a growth mindset and a fixed mindset and how important a growth mindset is for self-development. You may not have considered how important a growth heartset is too. While a growth mindset is wonderful, it’s not enough. There are plenty of people with growth mindsets who struggle,…

Your Relationship With Text Messaging

How would you rate your current relationship with texting on a scale of 1 to 10? A 1 means you really need to improve how you use this tool. A 10 means you’re using the tool in a way that works very well for you, and other people who text you understand and respect your…

How to Handle People Who Easily Become Defensive

I had a great realization when going through Dr. Julie Helmrich’s Science of Conflict course recently. One idea from that course helped me make sense of an issue that had been popping up now and then in my relationships. She noted that a key reason that people become defensive during conflict is that their inner…

Proactive Boundary Management

A recent gift from a friend included a question card deck, and one of the questions was: What is one of the most valuable lessons you have learned in the past year? I’d say my biggest lesson of this year was to more deeply understand the relationship between intelligent boundary management and investing in deep…

Thriving Without a God

In your favorite models of reality, do you include a god or gods? Have you tested models and frames that are god-free to see how well they work for you? I grew up learning models of reality that include a god, in that case a Christian version of one. Later I went atheist, and I…