Fragile Objections

Suppose you’re sitting in a Toastmasters meeting where members are practicing their speaking skills. Suppose there are about 20 members in the room, which would be pretty typical for a Toastmasters club. Now suppose you hear a fellow member give a speech that you find objectionable, and it bothers you to hear such words spoken…

Fragile vs Resilient Relationships

My relationship with Rachelle is very anti-fragile. Even when one or both of us is at our worst or when there’s a lot of turmoil going on around us, there’s little risk to our relationship. We can say or do the stupidest things, and we still stick like glue. We have plenty of freedom to…

Framing Yourself Into a Corner

It’s good to be aware of the potential risk of framing yourself into a corner when you’re faced with a tricky situation. Suppose you’re in a relationship, and you catch your partner kissing someone else. How do you frame that situation? It may depend on the details of course, like the type of kiss or…

Journaling Conversations

Many of my journal entries take the form of conversations, similar to a discussion, debate, or interview between two parties. Most often I use the interview approach. I play one role, usually as myself. I assign the other role to a different perspective, such as my future self, the universe, or the spirit of a…

I Registered to Vote

After decades of never voting in any election, I finally registered to vote for the first time ever. My registration is nonpartisan. I’m not a member of any political party. Some would say that I should have remedied this long ago. Why did I wait so long? Partly I’ve been stuck with an old frame…

Sparky Questions

Recently I was pondering ways to generate ideas that feel more fiery or sparky. I always have a lot of options for what to do next, and it’s easier for me to feel bored than stressed, so I often want to explore paths that offer some extra stimulation and challenge. Here are the questions I…

Manifesting to Avoid Confrontation

One wonky way that people try to apply the Law of Attraction is by attempting to bypass an unpleasant confrontation. Instead of attracting what they want, they’re partly trying to skip over what they don’t want. Examples include trying to avoid: a difficult break-up conversation with a relationship partner firmly clarifying boundaries with a friend…

Ass-Kicking Frames

Here’s a really simple idea that can be useful for self-motivation. Sometimes our frames are too flabby, giving us lots of leeway to drop the ball and slack off. In such cases it may be useful to adopt harsher frames, at least temporarily, to demand more from ourselves. Here are some of these ass-kicking frames…

Your #1 Priority May Lead You Astray

While it’s good to set goals and establish priorities, there’s a risk when you become myopically focused on a single outcome. Single mindedness can be okay for a while if you’re progressing nicely, but if you’ve gotten stuck and the needle isn’t moving, this stuckness can prevent you from making progress in any area of…