One thing that seemed to keep me stuck for quite a while when I was younger was the healing frame, i.e. layering a desired area of improvement with the perspective that I needed to “heal” something within myself. The healing frame remains a popular way to frame various aspects of self-development, addiction recovery, human relationships,…
When some aspect of life feels forced, and you have to push through with a lot of discipline to make progress, it might mean that the timing is wrong for you. If you feel like putting it off, maybe do exactly that. Other people may tell you that you need to advance some area of…
I love the feeling of making a big creative commitment, knowing that I have to lean into trust, rely on my knowledge and skills, and take lots and lots of action to follow through. It reminds me of when I used to go cliff diving on Catalina Island when I was younger, jumping off a…
It’s wonderful to be on Day 7 of my year of eating raw. I think I’m past the initial detox phase, and I’m flowing nicely into the beneficial part of this experience. It really has been super easy to reload these habits – not really a challenge, just a different way of experiencing life. As…
You may have heard about the difference between a growth mindset and a fixed mindset and how important a growth mindset is for self-development. You may not have considered how important a growth heartset is too. While a growth mindset is wonderful, it’s not enough. There are plenty of people with growth mindsets who struggle,…
I had a great realization when going through Dr. Julie Helmrich’s Science of Conflict course recently. One idea from that course helped me make sense of an issue that had been popping up now and then in my relationships. She noted that a key reason that people become defensive during conflict is that their inner…
During my late teens, each time I got caught shoplifting and had to deal with the consequences, my mind would dwell on what I could have done differently. I went over and over different actions I could have taken to avoid the arrest. This helped me get better at shoplifting. Each arrest or near-arrest made…
Heartstorming is brainstorming with the heart (or the emotional part of your brain). The mental kind of brainstorming is good for generating problem-solving ideas. It’s useful for mapping out the logical space of solutions. Generate lots of ideas, and sift through them to pick the best ones. That kind of brainstorming, however, is terrible for…
This video shares how to boost your confidence, overcome impostor syndrome, and upgrade your self-image by creating powerful reference experiences you’ll cherish and appreciate.
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The reasons people offer for making a decision often don’t match up with their real reasons. Real reasons are generally emotional, not logical. People hide and guard their real reasons for making decisions. When you quit a job or leave a relationship, how often do you tell your boss or partner your real (emotional) reason…