Fear Is Boring

In the months and years leading up to my bankruptcy in 1999, I was very resistant to going broke. I kept sinking further into debt year by year, and bankruptcy was becoming increasingly inevitable. I kept doing whatever I could think of to stave it off, including selling off lots of items and trying to…

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Feeling Grounded in the Midst of Spiraling Changes

As much as you’ve seen unfold this month already, this is still the early game for the virus, so there will be even more changes coming up quickly. The last 10 days of the month could be even bigger than the first 21. With so much uncertainty, how can you still feel grounded? Is that…

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The Stun Setting

Lately I’ve been feeling like we’re living through a particular Star Trek: The Next Generation episode. No, not “Contagion” – that’s about a computer virus. Not “Thine Own Self” either, but that’s a good guess. I’m thinking of “The Ensigns of Command.” That’s the episode where Data, the android character, must convince a bunch of…

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The Opposite of Fear

Based on what I’ve been seeing regarding people’s reactions to the unfolding coronavirus situation, many seem to be trying to keep themselves out of fear mode. Instead of fear, they suggest to adopt a mode of thinking and being they typically describe with words like optimism or love. Stay positive. Don’t be afraid. Don’t panic.…

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Using Sync States to Be More Consistent

A big step forward in reason is when we gain the logical recognition that the brain needs to synchronize and coordinate its operations effectively in order to function well as an integrated being instead of a collection of parts that don’t mesh well. Then the question becomes: What’s a reasonable way to synchronize our mental…

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Psychological Safety

This evening Rachelle and I attended an orientation meeting for a local kink-related meetup group. It’s a very active group that does frequent educational workshops as well as social meetups. I’ve known about them for years and was curious, but I never went to one of their meetup, mainly because there was a (relatively minor)…

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Butts Up

When I was around 12 years old, I came upon a game being played by a group of boys from the neighborhood. They invited me to play with them, telling me that the game was called butts up. I didn’t know how to play, so they briefly explained the rules. It’s a fairly simple game…

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Fret Credit

Fret credit is the notion that we’re more entitled to achieve a result if we’ve worried or stressed about it a lot. Does reality actually work this way? Do we bank some karmic credits for fretting? That seems pretty doubtful of course. Have you ever succumbed to this mindset though? Have you ever felt more…

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Loved-based Clarity

It’s common to slant your understanding of clarity heavily towards truth and power while not giving as much attention to the love aspect of clarity. The risk in doing so is that your perception of clarity may end up being too mental and lacking in the depth that emotional alignment brings to it. So you…

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