More often than not we tend to overcomplicate things. I tend to overcomplicate things; I don’t mean to project that onto you. This happens to be the third or fourth draft (I’ve lost count) of this post. One that I started over two weeks ago and have been searching for the right words ever since.
Maybe that is where the problem lies: the right words. This is nothing new – I struggle with always wanting things to be perfect. It’s an illusion; the elusive and unattainable perfect. A close cousin of Sasquatch. I understand the desire to create something that you’re proud of, but where do you draw the line? When is enough, enough and you finally put it out into the world, for better or worse?
It’s been over three years since I’ve posted anything to this blog. The pressure I’ve put on myself to deliver something profound has been immense. Why? Because I’m afraid of being viewed as a horrible writer; a fear of be labeled stupid; a fear that someone will unsubscribe; a fear that I’m not good enough. Seems dramatic for such a small action like writing a blog post that very few people will ever see. It is. But that’s what we tend to do as humans – construct these elaborate, delusional tales in our minds, usually pessimistic, to the point of inaction. We think everything is going to be dogshit, so we do nothing. It’s incredibly easy to convince ourselves that anything uncomfortable should be avoided. Why bother writing a single word on here if I think it’s going to suck and people will hate me?
Because I enjoy writing.
I think that’s as good of a reason as any. So, I’m giving myself permission. Permission to spend sixteen days to compile four hundred of both the right and wrong words to create something I want to say. Permission to re-learn the craft of writing so I can slowly improve and convey my thoughts more effectively. Permission to possibly look like an idiot but maybe connect with someone on the other side of this screen. At the very least, I finally stepped away from my delusion and made something to share with others. Now I can let this action tell its story instead of creating one in my head.
Maybe, even if it’s just for today, you give yourself permission to do something that you’ve been putting off or been afraid to do – even if it’s been years.
Enjoy The Journey